Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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