SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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