The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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