I bet he comes in French.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
