Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
