Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Rumble strips road head = magical
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
