you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
