think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
