I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize