and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
