Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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