So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
soo... how was my night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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