Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
