Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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