the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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