So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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