That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
