yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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