Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
