Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize