So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
