Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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