you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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