I just pynch a tree in the face
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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