i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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