so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize