Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
