Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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