Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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