the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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