"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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