There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
