where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i permit you to call me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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