Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
