Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
