I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
