dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
