TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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