was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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