um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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