Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
