my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
