3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Be still, my beating vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Randomize
