he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
True strength comes from lack of pants
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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