I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
