Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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