first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
