she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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