do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
wow bdsm is so cute
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
