How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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