Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
