She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
