I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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