but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
