Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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