Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize