You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
