3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
where does the pee come out of this thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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