yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
