If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
