I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
