I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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