chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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