i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize