I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize