i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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