A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
