it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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